I think there is an art to posting a minimal-ingredient recipe. I keep reading that one needs to be as detailed and descriptive as possible when sharing recipes on a food blog, but I don’t think I can ever bring myself to tell someone how to boil water. I don’t know if I am preventing myself from having more readers this way, but it’s the only way I can write this blog and have fun doing it. I struggle with posting something so simple it seems boring, or insulting someone by explaining what poi is. I appreciate blogs for different reasons. Some of them are geared towards beginners, some for seasoned cooks, and some for chefs. I enjoy them all. I would never want every blog I read to assume I know nothing about cooking. Technique or otherwise. It would waste a lot of my time.There will always be someone who knows more than I, and someone who knows less. Figuring out who I want to write to is a constant process. I guess I write for people who cook. Plain and simple.  I write about things that interest me (this should be obvious, but I find a lot of people following trends instead of their heart.), things I don’t think get enough attention, or things I can never tire of.  I was glad the whoopie pie came back, three years ago. Now, I can’t even enjoy an episode of The Newlyweds. I still enjoy pie though.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that people are baking their own bread, and finally realizing how easy a pie crust is to make, but the cupcake craze has got to end. I can’t imagine cooking or baking only one thing. I would get so bored. I think trends should join the mix, not turn it brown.  Also, stop messing with Martinis, people. Bacon bits on a glass is just gross. Think about how greasy fingerprints on a glass make you wince. Well, they should. Why do you want chunks of pig impeding on your gin? Yes, gin.  Not vodka. Vodka is for something called a “Fuzzy Navel”. And if you are mixing a tasteless liquor with an overpowering breakfast juice, and are willing to verbally order a “Fuzzy Navel”, then you probably think chocolate martinis are cool too. They are not. If you truly like these things, drink them in the privacy of your own home.  In public, I will judge you. Keep the bottle of Bailey’s at home like the rest of us. By us I don’t mean me. Swear.

I digress, back to the simple things. One of my favorite things is fried rice.  It’s great because you use whatever you have on hand as far as veggies go, and if you keep pantry staples, (as we all should), it’s perfect when Hoarders, or Modern Family is starting soon, and you got home later than expected, but you still want to make something worth blogging about. I always hear about making fried rice when you have rice leftover. I make rice to make fried rice. If this seems silly to you, make extra when you make it for something else, or use take-out rice, which for some reason never gets eaten. This is not so much a recipe as it is a list of mix-ins, which I also keep reading is a blogging sin. Apparently measurements are the key to success. I beg to differ. If carrots are your favorite thing in the whole world, and you want to eat a stir-fry of only carrots and rice, then for heavens sake that is your right. Who am I to force mushrooms upon you? I will suggest, but force!? Never.

 

Nothing is a miss in this place.

 

 

Fried Rice

Rice, cooked

Onion, thinly sliced

Garlic, chopped

Soy Sauce

Sesame Oil

Sesame Seeds (toasted), or black sesame seeds

Eggs

Fresh Ginger (powdered if you don’t have fresh), chopped

Bacon, chopped, and crisp

Crushed Red Pepper Flake, and/ or Sriracha

Peanut or Olive Oil

Chicken Broth

Basil

Those are essentials. Here is the extra good stuff:

Mushrooms, sliced

Carrots, grated, or thinly sliced

Broccoli, cut into 1-inch florets

Scallions, thinly sliced

Asparagus, cut into 1 1/2 inch pieces

Bok Choy, trimmed

Peas

Shrimp

Chicken, sliced thinly

Tofu, cubed

Steak, sliced thinly

I am going to write this recipe in Phish set list form for those who aren’t familiar.

Bacon>veggies>garlic/ginger>sauces/spices>rice>broth>butter if needed>egg>sesame oil>sesame seeds>crisp bacon>eat

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