Does this man look familiar?

What about him?

It’s alright if they don’t, but if not, let me introduce to you “Troll 2.

Growing up I loved horror films. My mother, bless her heart, did not discourage this. She got a little wary when I also got really interested in serial killers, but I think she chalked it up to normal. We grew up in a cop family and she is a kick-ass paralegal. Crime scene photos are a job, not a sign of a personality disorder. Along with wanting to work in forensics, I wanted to work in fashion. This probably quelled the fires. We lived in a small town, so we had the standard Sensorbuster, but we also had a few independent movie rental places to go. One of my favorites was Videoland. A middle-aged Polish women owned it, and it had a great inventory. She also sold handmade polish art and dishes, which I thought was super cool. It wasn’t the place you went for the new highest-paid actor/actress movies, because she probably only got two copies in and you would have to wait. No one waits for anything anymore. But you could get your hands on “The Gate.” This place was like Christmas for my ten-year-old self. Sadly, it’s not there anymore, but will always be in my fond memories.

I am fortunate to now live in a city with an amazing plethora of independent cinemas.  Having had access to the best independent video store in 50 states, Scarecrow Video,  in my opinion I have been spoiled. Doubly spoiled. I dated the manager, and got to see things for free. And since we are still close friends, I still get this perk. I never take it for granted. Always choosing to work in a bookstore or library, there is basically no entertainment ration besides alcohol and cigarettes. So in my fortunate world of film festivals, region codes, and some of the most knowledgeable cool people, I have had access to a part of the cinema that most people don’t get, including all of the wonderful things said people create. Independent movie store employees are no one-trick ponies. They are some of the most talented, thinking people around.

One of the things I love most about art house cinema is that you don’t need to live in a major city to be blessed with a great place to see a movie. You might only have one, but one is better than none. Unless we are talking about parking tickets or chicken pocks. My childhood friend Melody lives in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, and has the beautiful Campus theater. She is also getting married in it!

I love all things pre-me being alive, so it makes sense that I love old theaters. Going to the movies used to mean something. There were no cell phones, no talking. People got dressed up. It was a night out. I yearn for those days.

Look at me, talking about cinema at it’s best and then giving you “Troll 2.” Okay, it’s no “Bicycle Thieves,” but it has it’s place in not taking yourself too seriously and enjoying something that may have cost no more to make than a kid’s college tuition these days.

Speaking of sounding and being old at 31. I have hated most 20-30 year-olds since I was 15. This still holds true. Case in point: at intermission, said “young people” were complaining that the people in front of them were annoyed that they were talking through the film. We were watching a documentary at the lovely Central Cinema about “Troll 2” first, “Best Worst Movie.” This is what they talked through. And guess what: they have never seen “Troll 2.” Let me add that this is a place where you order beer and food while you are watching your movie.  They aren’t showing “Shawshank.” People laugh, make jokes that are generally funny, but if they aren’t that’s okay. We are here to have fun. But, we are not hear to be rude. No one wants to hear about what guy did what to you for the whatever number of times that made you cry. Go to a bar or your friend’s house, not “Troll 2.” I digress. What irked me most was them saying, “My god, it’s a six-dollar movie. What’s the big deal?” Six dollars feeds a family of six. I can’t stand people with disposable income that go to things just to go to things. This happens all the time at baseball games and it drives me bonkers. Talking through an entire baseball game is inexcusable. And contrary to stereotypes, it’s always the men.

I wouldn’t listen to someone’s inane babble for free, so six bucks is an exorbitant amount to pay for it. The bad aside, we had the best time, and by now you are probably thinking, “Where is the food?” I had one of the best oatmeal stouts I have ever had. Ninkasi Oatis Oatmeal Stout. The Central Cinema‘s food leaves much to be desired, but one stand-out is their cinnamon-sugar popcorn.  I thought this combo weird at first, but didn’t know why. I love popcorn, and pretty much anything you can sprinkle on it. Curry powder, garlic, cayenne, chocolate, Baconpop, caramel, cheese. Why was cinnamon-sugar throwing me for a loop? Then I tasted it. It’s like an elevated Kettle corn. Less sweet, with the addition of comfy cinnamon. I am sold. You will be too. As if popcorn wasn’t addicting enough.

You know what popcorn looks like. Sprinkle some cinnamon-sugar mix and some butter and enjoy 🙂

I am going “Memento” people, so follow me. Pre-movie we did some speed-eating at The Elysian. After a long wait at Quinn’s, we left to try to catch a quick dinner before the movie. Quinn’s doesn’t seat until your whole party is present, so it put us in a time bind. I hate this rule. I especially hate it in Capital Hill, where it might take part of your party 45 minutes to find parking. That being said, I still miss you, Subaru. (Seattle’s bus system is less than perfect.) So we left Quinn’s to quicker pastures, which turned out to be slightly quicker pastures. But karma works in glorious ways. I had a fantastic beer. It was called Rosemary’s Baby.

I am not a fan of taking pictures in restaurants, but it’s a pretty big brewpub. No one was the wiser.

Troll 2: Part 2 coming soon.

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